Cathy’s praise of discovering the unimaginable is all over our Zionist imperialist media- not surprising considering  that even Jesus would welcome the scamy (scummy? Ed.) Cathy if he were paid in 7 digits. Now obviously, Cathy can’t possibly fund the marketing of her genius. She is just your average mom. The likes of her could only manage $130/h/night.

Allow me to clear something up straight away. I’m taking Cathy as an example to expose the wider issue. For example, we got rid of the bushy brained Bush only to leave his massive lobby still in power.  In a similar fashion, Cathy’s employer will use her as the escape goat for its crimes. Do you see where I’m going? Individuals are not nearly as harmful as the lobby that controls them. In the handy handbook of corporate imperialism, individuals are largely dispensable.

At this point, any knowledgeable person would stop reading this article because he/she knows the secrets behind deceptive marketing, and that Cathy’s miracles have existed since the death of Isa. But for the sake of the women who can’t drive for toffee, I’m willing to go like a virgin (hmm? Ed.).

Scamy Cathy claims that by mixing two ordinary teeth whitening products, Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile, she has created a miraculous toothpaste that guarantees your tits white in as low as 5 days. The sort of women she’s targeting are surprisingly not the ones with their mouths usually filled with the white stuff. Regardless of her target audience, there is one problem that you can’t escape from. Cathy’s suggested mix of chemicals are not available at your local departmental store. Let me repeat again, in bold, what I just said above.

1. Dentawhite / Dazzlesmile (the magic formula) IS NOT available at your local superstore.

Point to ponder: Cathy is suggesting that you buy a product that is physically non-existent.

Cathy continues to tell her folklore by offering you a virtual “discount” coupon for the two notable products. Oh wait… discount wa? Are you suggesting, Cathy, that I purchase the product online? Damn right!

2. Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile can ONLY be ordered ONLINE via CREDIT CARD.

It also appears that the two products are manufactured by the same parent company. But that’s fine because corporate moguls work like that. When was the last time you blamed Coca Cola for beverage-ing over 400 brands?

3. Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile share the same parent owner (strong likelihood)

Now, if you’ve ever participated in “opt-out at any time/cancel your membership, no questions asked” programs, you should know that it’s ridiculously easy to get scammed.  What starts out as a $5 sample turns into a monthly credit cruncher that is not easy to fight with. Are people really that stupid to believe that a company will give away a brilliant product for just $5? Apparently so… The Internet is riddled with people, I bet mostly women, sharing their say of the scam. But I won’t blame the victims for not doing their research beforehand. I mean, CNN featured Cathy’s discovery so it must be true, right?

I feel sorry for the scammed, and unfortunately for them, the money lost is never coming back.

Do you ever read the fine prints of your contract? It is estimated that 95% of the people don’t, which explains why they’re so vulnerable to scam artists.

Cathy’s Personal Scam: Screw the bitch!

Click here to visit Cathy’s website- a long-story-made-short of her discovery. Besides the very obvious that Cathy couldn’t have made her website herself as it is beyond the ability of a mother of two to code a clean and appealing website, take a notice of what happens when you click on the links to Dazzlesmile/Dentawhite from her website.

The links from Cathy’s website are directed to an ad-click agency. The agency logs your computer information and redirects you to the intended destination. So for every click to the scam artists from her website, Cathy gets paid. This mother is not only getting paid to sleep in bed with different people, she is making money by telling us about it.

You can also ignore all the user comments that you see on her website. Most of them are made-up and obviously fake. I tried to push a comment myself but it was instantly rejected.

Read the Fine Prints:

Cathy’s website, which is actually run by a professional scam artist (a guy), has this to say in the fine prints,

“THE STORY DEPICTED ON THIS SITE AND THE PERSON DEPICTED IN THE STORY ARE NOT REAL . RATHER, THIS STORY IS BASED ON THE RESULTS THAT SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE USED THESE PRODUCTS HAVE ACHIEVED. THE RESULTS PORTRAYED IN THE STORY AND IN THE COMMENTS ARE ILLUSTRATIVE, AND MAY NOT BE THE RESULTS THAT YOU ACHIEVE WITH THESE PRODUCTS. THIS PAGE RECEIVES COMPENSATION FOR CLICKS ON OR PURCHASE OF PRODUCTS FEATURED ON THIS SITE.”

That’s funny. If the story is not real, how the heck did it end up on the nation’s most popular news networks and websites?

And Finally, The Usual Predictable Outcome:

Just about enough people will fall a victim to Cathy’s (it’s not really her) treacherous marketing campaign. The scammers will have made enough money in time to buy them a mansion in the Caribbean, and spill the leftovers for lawyers to scavenge.

Cathy’s campaign is bound to be successful because it wasn’t presented in the usual way. It’s a story of a young mom who didn’t become an instant Internet sex sensation because her tits aren’t as big as her head. It’s a story of a mom who knows how to make the best of recession. It’s a story of a mom who doesn’t lie, because moms know best, right? Too bad Cathy, you barely fit the bill of a good mother. How could you possibly not be a lying bitch if your only source of income is a nationwide campaign full of shit?

To Those Disappointed:

There is nothing wrong with your teeth. How can some teeth come in the way of your personality? I have bad teeth myself. I’ve never had to hide a smile even if I didn’t brush my teeth that morning. If anyone marks you off because of your pale teeth, feel free to kick the person in the nuts twice, and once more on my behalf.

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Wifi-N vs Wifi g/b (802.11 g/b/n vs 802.11 g/b):

Let’s cut to the chase straight away. Wifi-N touts itself as the fastest wireless solution providing speeds of up to 300mbps. The more common resident is limited to a speed of just 54mbps. If I were a marketing Nazi, I would claim that my Wifi-N product “does Internet 6 times faster”- a tribute to American porn for HD lovers. It’s true that Wifi-N offers 6 times the bandwidth (or speed) compared to its aging sister, does your Internet actually run at 6 times the speed or anywhere near it? The answer
is as good of a ‘yes’ as a 747 crashing into the Pentagon.

How fast do you want it to be?

Wifi-N at 300mbps translates into approximately 38MB/s
Wifi-g/b at 54mbps is about 7MB/s

To put the numbers into perspective, an average MP3 song is 5MB in size. A standard definition movie is about 700MB, and a DVD movie, as you know already, is approximately 4500MB. Surely if your downloads deserve the best, Wifi-N appears to carve the path ahead, doesn’t it?

The catch is: Your Internet shit provider (ISP) doesn’t offer speeds that even come close to flooding the older Wifi. For example, Comcast- the largest superbowl-porn cable operator in the States, signs you up for a usable Internet bandwidth of just 6mbps, which is “drop the pants, no genitals” compared to any modern standard. In fact, the fastest speed that you could subscribe to in this country maxes out at 16mbps, which is still pathetic knowing Nuclar-Korea averages nearly 8 times more. Corporate networks are a different story, however.

The fastest Internet nations in the World only just about stretch the older Wifi to its limit. Furthermore, high speed data transmission is best done over cable anyway. Even so, it’s fairly beyond the reach of a website and server to provide a huge chunk of its alloted bandwidth to a single user. This is primarily the reason why websites often seem slow even though your Internet is relatively brisk. So the talk about Wifi-N being the best Wifi holds no importance. Would you buy a Ferrari for the streets of London? Unless of course you actually bought one for the divine purpose of picking up prostitutes, you’re not much faster than public transport. By the same token, you might buy Wifi-N thinking your downloads will be faster, which is also practically nonsense. I think you get the idea by now.

Upon your next wireless purchase, make sure you go through user reviews. You want a wireless card that gets you the best signal reception, not necessarily the one with the highest speed or more antennas. Having previously used its products, CISCO makes the best of the lot, but their price doesn’t include a free vacation to Hawaii- neither does Dlink’s or Trendnet’s, but at least the smaller brand is light on your wallet.

Not the end of the story: Wifi-N shines, if:

1. You run a wireless corporate network on makes-me-jealous Internet speeds.
2. PC-to-PC file transfer
3. A busy local network

No wireless adapter will make your Internet run any faster, possibly better, but definitely not any faster. Wired networking will always be faster and more reliable compared to Wifi.

Compatibility:
Wifi-N products are backward compatible. A Wifi-N card will work with Wifi g/b routers, and vice versa. The maximum data speed is limited by the slowest element in the loop.

Update: It came to my attention lately that some brands are selling wireless products targeted at gamers. Correct me if I’m wrong, online gaming gives precedence to pings (time it takes for information to transfer from point A to B), and we’ve already established that wired networking is more reliable than wireless, it’s certain that claims of better gaming on wireless products is bogus.

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In her article “Why is Bollywood Obsessed with Producing Crossover Films?” published in New India-Times, New York, Rajal Pitroda, a knowledgeable critic of the Indian entertainment industry, criticizes the rising development of Indian film industry for being alarmingly Western ethnocentric. In her response to Bride and Prejudice, America’s first mainstream exposure to Indian filmmaking, and a montage of Indian producers seeking to make the next big crossover film, she writes, “Are we just seeking appreciation and acceptance from the West? And what about our industry at home? What is actually happening to Bollywood in Mumbai?” These are indeed important questions. Just because Bollywood is one of the largest film industries in the world with a huge fan base to back it up, that doesn’t mean success should also materialize in America. The problem is, Bollywood was never originally set up to take on a global voyage. It was merely a digital transformation of the poetic, and romantic Indian culture. So why this increasing adaptation of Western culture into Bollywood? The answer is quite simple; money!

A single Hollywood production can cover the cost for over 100 Bollywood films. Likewise, screening of Bollywood films in America is a profitable business for the producers back home in India. As of 2008, Bollywood made a profit of almost $100 million in America alone, more than it made from Asia, Australia, and Europe combined (Wadhwani). It is evident from this factual data why Indian filmmakers are so keen on making the next big one. Unfortunately for them, it is this greed for money that may lead to an epic destruction of Bollywood, both in India and abroad.

What good is a movie that is not original, or at least pretends to be? Ball writes, “Typically running three long hours, an Indian movie was not only tedious to me, a naturally peripatetic guest, but also irritatingly boring. Lacking subtitles, a typical movie was characterized by interims of musical scores, commonly four to five, and acted upon with what is called -Going around the trees scenes- basically, a love scene interpolations.” I could hardly disagree. Your average Joe would not pay for some mediocre singing in the woods, repetitive love stories, and cartoon-like special effects. Are you ready for the next superman? It comes from India. It climbs buildings and flies like an eagle. If only Hollywood had something better to offer.

Speaking of which, where do Indian filmmakers get their inspiration for super human characters from? Partly from Hindi folklore, and some from plagiarizing. In fact the list of plagiarized Bollywood films is so embarrassingly long, it is quite a page turner. Even though copyright enforcement in India has picked up some momentum recently, however, there is no general agreement that it has (Shedde). In 2008 alone, 3 Bollywood films have allegedly hijacked Hollywood originals, the most controversial being God Tussi Great Ho, a rip-off of the 2003 box ofice hit, Bruce Almighty. This will not go down well for Bollywood. Neither would Hollywood stand for plagiarizing, nor will the American people.

There is something else that would not go down well with the American people; movie piracy. When Hollywood movies get illegally put on the Internet for free download in India, why should Bollywood get any business in America at all? It is a question that will be raised soon, if not later.

India is one of the poorest countries in the world. There is not enough investment in the country to support large scale film projects. Moreover, it lacks institutions needed to train directors, and writers alike (Pitroda). As it stands now, Bollywood is not ready to take on the big challenge. The Indian producers must not be weary of this fact, and should rather focus on making films that handed them glory in the first place. Perhaps independent filmmakers in India would see this as an opportunity to make a name for themselves. Success comes from being persistent, not from copying others, not from impressing them, either.

References:
Ball, Isabel. “Bollywood vs. Hollywood Clash of Titans.”
Pitroda, Rajal. “Why is Bollywood Obsessed with Producing Crossover Films?”
Shedde, Meenakshi. “Plagiarism issue jolts Bollywood.”
Wadhwani, Anita. “Bollywood Mania Rising in United States.”

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As oil derricks take one last plunge into the Arabian soil, or at least that is what we know from credible sources like Rupert Murdoch, Abu Dhabi, the capital city of the most flamboyant “not so deserted anymore” Arab nation recently dumped a chunk of its camel fat into the second largest microprocessor manufacturer in a bid to survive financially difficult times up ahead. That’s right America: one more to the Arabs. Welcome to Al-AMD; oil enriched godly micro chips for your PC. But should you really be concerned? Think again… the more the Arabs get, the shorter they live. Not that I do not care, but a “give-and-invade” strategy has been set up in the Middle East since WWII, a strategy well mastered and accomplishment by the disputed Jewish land of Rabbi’s; Israel. So what in the name of Isa’s second coming am I rambling about anyway?

Intel vs AMD; On the sidewalk, Christians!
After George Wimping Bush’s supreme 2-term reign in the office that led to the most stable America since “…”, and to our first black president in history (ironic?)- the two economies that seemingly dodged the onslaught of financial trouble are neither part of the Americas, or the European Union. They are in fact located in the ruins of violent religious history; the Middle East. It should then come out no surprise to you that a good number of US corporates are foreign owned. I wouldn’t call an American born Jewish entrepreneur a true American because deep down in his heart he wants Israel at the expense of whatnot. I wouldn’t call an American born Arab a true American either for the same basic reasoning. The fact that Jews got the smarter brains (our media lifestyle), and Arabs the bigger dough (biggest oil exporters), there is nothing a Joe Shmoe can do but spectate the proceedings of his country’s demise. Besides, it is too late to make a comeback anyway- we owe far too much to the Chinese and the Arabs for buying our debts, and Israel for running our businesses. If you disagree with me, you probably still believe that Apollo-11 was for real, and that Marvin Bush had nothing to do with WTC. But where does Intel and AMD come in?

Ever since Intel first established its office in Haifa some 35 years ago, it has since invested more than $6 Billion in Israel alone. Intel is also the largest employer in Israel with an estimated 7000 bright Jews chip-ing for it. Needless to say, anything good to have come out of Intel had something to do with Israel one way or another. And despite being frequently rocked by home-made missile attacks that always seem to miss their target, Israel continues to prove itself a reliable chip developer for Intel. Codename: Jerusalem will be the company’s last and most powerful processor. I can only begin to assume that there would only be 3 such processors, each powering a node on Temple Mount- the final resting place of the Third Temple.

Welcome to Al-AMD; Arabian fried chips!
The only rival to Israel’s Intel, AMD was at an urge of filing bankruptcy if it weren’t for the Arab sheiks’ ludicrous bonanza to keep it alive. While many Americans do not favor an Arab influence over AMD, they fail to realize the fact that it is because of this very deal that consumers, for the first time in microchip history, are able to buy flagship parts from both sides of the camp at half of what they used to pay previously. Even the juiciest of AMD quad core processors can be had for under $200. Compare this to yester years when we were spending over $500 on a single high-end CPU.

As it stands now, Abu Dhabi holds 18% of AMD with plans of raising its stake in the company. The spin off gives AMD the role of a design company, while Abu Dhabi’s investment firm Mubada Development Company takes in charge of manufacturing. From a consumers’ point of view, the future looks bright for the Sunnyvale outfit. And whilst it is too early to speculate a definite outcome, AMD doesn’t mind taking a piss at Intel. For the first time in 3 decades, the underdog has decided to take the game right up Intel’s butt hole, even if it lures it to unethical marketing measures. There is of course just one problem. Intel’s supremacy over microchips is in jeopardy. The Santa Clara based outfit is not only squeezing down on its profits, but it is also facing a fierce challenge from AMD’s graphics division, ATI.

Correct me if I’m wrong, Intel is bound to use AMD’s Arab venture to its own dirty profit. You just have to remember about the Intel-Israel-America connection. A high profile Intel official says this in his speech the other day, “We’re are very skeptical about AMD’s operation in the Middle East. We have a reason to believe that its microprocessors might be going in the wrong hands. It is for the freedom of our people that we put a stop to this virus from spreading.” A few months and Congress bills later, a floating ZIP code pops out in the Arabian Sea.

A Digital War over Holy Grounds:
How do you plan out an attack on a country that is host to the best hotels, the best cars, the best tourism spots, and the best of your retired countrymen? In my book of deception, Osama bin Laden is still alive, and plans on fertilizing Iran’s long-range missiles with AMD chips for added accuracy. The UAE denies this claim, but Mossad agents gather enough evidence they manufactured in Los Angeles. Time is running out for the Arab sheiks. They must either comply to the New World Order, or face prosecution by MK-77.

A sophisticated, and long due Zionist dream is coming to an end. We have lost our economy- lost our bread- lost the wars that weren’t for us to fight anyway- and even lost our faith in God. Wake up America: there is a big world outside.

Not to be misunderstood:
Isa: Jesus in Arabic  literature
Zionism: is not limited to radical Jews, but it is also accepted among some Muslims and Christians.
Temple Mount: The holiest site in Judaism- 3rd holiest in Islam
MK-77: Banned fuel gel bomb massively used by US forces in Iraq and Afghanistan (see Napalm)
Floating ZIP code: Aircraft carrier
Wake up America: Seriously, wake up!

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Back in its glory days, EA used to be the gamers’ choice. Its games were inspiring, creative, and a lot of fun to play. Those things are now an old myth. The loyalists continue to cheer on nevertheless. Following the footsteps of Google, Microsoft, and ‘free porn for kids’ Youtube, EA is an island surrounded with hype, fanboys, and right-wing journalism. No kidding… $60 for a video game that is hardly entertaining, and I thought marriage was an expensive commitment. You will have only yourself to blame if your wife choses to ditch you, unless you represent the 30-40% demographics, you probably would not care anyways. But let us not make this good read a breeding ground of your sexuality. I want to know why EA thinks it is a brilliant idea for gamers to have some sort of sex in video games, games that kids of all ages play.

Introducing Command and Conquer; Red Alert 3. A sequel to possibly the largest strategy video game franchise in history. The fans (including nerds) lost hope in EA long time back when it actually took over and demolished the original creators of this franchise; Westwood Studies. For those of you who don’t know, Red Alert is a real-time strategy video game based on a fantasy war whilst blending in favorably with modern world politics. In its third volume, you command the forces of three superpowers who go up against each other; USA, Russia, and collective white Asia. You receive intel from your assistant commander in office; a women with prominently big breasts. What’s wrong with you ask? Hold on to that thought… Guess who your assistant commander on the field is? Another woman with even bigger breasts. Now see if you can find any coherence of the breasts theme with the game’s promotional shootout.

What sort of feminism is that? They have forgotten war veterans in favor of playboy hookers to lead our forces across the oceans to defeat the enemy. Good progress!

More importantly, do you know Gemma Atkinson? Pfft. Nor do I. A quick Googla search reveals promising stats. Atkinson is a British TV personality and full-time lingerie model for men’s magazines… Arena, FHM, and Maxim are just a few of her labels. Apparently, she also went through breast surgery in 2006 that brought her bra size to 34E. I would not know the schematics behinds bra-numbers, I guess bigger the better, and 34E sounds juicy enough.

Also falling under the same category, meet Jennifer McCarthy, the sizzling American playboy sensation from last decade. Like Gemma, she too went through breast enlargement, and has thus far been featured in Playboy no fewer than 10 times. McCarthy has admitted in the past to have had sexual encounters with women, which explains why she cheated on her ex-hubby like she did. It gets better and better, doesn’t it?

Apart from the two mentioned, Red Alert 3 also features Kelly Hu, Ivana Milicevic, and Autumn Reeser. All of whom have something to show you. If you buy this game you would almost certainly look these women up, inside and out. The game is, of course, rated for teens but it is actually played by kids of all ages. And so it shouldn’t surprise you if your kids winds up on Google porn faster than you can walk up to their rooms.

What message is EA trying to propagate, seriously?

“Tesla tanks and big boobs… I’m totally sold.” says 14-year old Bob, a Red Alert fan. In fact, the general attitude toward the game is that even though it stinks as much as EA itself, it is the sex part that keeps you coming for more. And just when you thought it couldn’t get more vulgar, EA, in its promotional video tagged “The Women and Men of C&C”, is offering you a chance to satisfy your dirty desires on purchase of Red Alert 3: Premier Edition, which is another $20 over regular price. This supposedly exclusive edition of the game gives an inside look at making of RA-3 itself, and as promised, more bo… goodies.

How low could a franchise possibly go? Why can’t EA spend money on making its games better than hiring hookers to make up for its poor quality of outsourced labor? It is such a shame to witness a popular brand go down because of its childish, greedy, and ignorant wish to rule the gaming world.

Electronic Arts is an imperialist of the gaming industry. It knows it can’t play fair, and those who do eventually get stabbed in the back. If you are a concerned parent that your kid might be exposed to sex in video games, boycott Electronic Arts. If you are a gamer who wants to make the best out of your games, also boycott Electronic Arts. And if you are one of those deluded fanboys who don’t give a rat’s ass: it is never too late to convert.

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What makes Miley Cyrus so great?
Is it her voice? You wish… a 6-year old sings better. Is it her acting? Has to be, how else could one redeem one’s self by posing nude for the masses, whilst making a few million bucks anyways, and still come out dry clean as if nothing had happened. Is she a looker? Come on, people, she is only 16, let us talk about Ashley Tisdale, No!

Nevertheless, Hugh Hefner from Playboy reckons that he will wait for the day the fruit fully ripens. Good idea. Let ‘em grow naturally!

Don’t feel all bad though, there is a lot of hantana goods up for grab to cheer you up; pencils, backpacks, clothing, bed covers, toys, video games, and other notorious nuisance. And if you still have any credit left on your account, how about Hannah Montana on Bluray?

The kids’ role model?
When I was a kid, sex was not even a recognized word, how embarrassing, a 3rd grader could write a wiki on tea-bagging. Kids these days like to be a part of the the buzz, you know the buzz? Celebrity pregnancies, nudity, private affairs, drugs, and rehab. It only takes a Google search. Give it a try: “Miley Cyrus Prego”, what comes up? Speaking of which, the only real way of filtering out porn off of the Internet is to simply switch is off, not the porn, it can be a life saver in desperate times.

Where do you draw the line?
There’s Miley Cyrus on TV everyday, followed by Youtubism full of montanist fanboyism. The next day at school, this kid shows of her limited edition Montana backpack for which she proudly paid $50. Now your kid blames you for not buying her anything, ever, a blame normally associated with phrases like ‘I hate you dad’, ‘You’re not the boss of me’, and among her friends, ‘My dad is such a loser’, ‘My mom sucks’. Okay… the American dream I understand. Great going parents. This is what you get when you have no control over your siblings.

And there is more to come!
I believe it is safe to assume that montanism is to remain a phenomenon for quite some time, not unless we do something about it. Disney wants to make more off of the HM brand, too bad Miley wants to move on with her life. Daddy’s little girl is all grown up.

Fancy more TV?
Who is behind the success of Miley Cyrus? Her father, to an extent, I give you that, but you, the audience, keep paying for her voyages so that one day your little girl walks up to you to tell you, and don’t you dare turn your head away, “daddy, I’m pregnant”. Fancy more TV? Change the channel. Beep.

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