A Mom's Teeth Whitening Trick for $5!

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A Mom’s Teeth Whitening Trick for $5!

By Saad Riaz ⋅ September 15, 2009 ⋅

By this time, Cathy Anderson- the supposedly average American mom who apparently discovered the best tiit whitening formula with her profound expertise of doing wonders in bed, is drooling over buckets of cash as part of a huge viral marketing campaign that not only shows the amount of freedom given to corporate pundits in America at the expense of public interest, but also proves the fact that one really can become rich overnight. If you recall the massive campaigning of those supertastic sauna belts that made slim those fat-butted losers on TV, and only on TV, this mom’s magical discovery of tiit whitening will also cease to exist once her employer is publicly exposed in full. I will try my best to do just that, but without the nerdy reference to glycerin, starch, and menthol. In case you didn’t know, glycerin can also be written as C3H5(OH)3 and is part of the hydrophilic hydroxyl gro… ok sorry!

Cathy’s praise of discovering the unimaginable is all over our Zionist imperialist media- not surprising considering that even Jesus would welcome the scamy (scummy? Ed.) Cathy if he were paid in 7 digits. Now obviously, Cathy can’t possibly fund the marketing of her genius. She is just your average mom. The likes of her could only manage $130/h/night.

Allow me to clear something up straight away. I’m taking Cathy as an example to expose the wider issue. For example, we got rid of the bushy brained Bush only to leave his massive lobby still in power. In a similar fashion, Cathy’s employer will use her as the escape goat for its crimes. Do you see where I’m going? Individuals are not nearly as harmful as the lobby that controls them. In the handy handbook of corporate imperialism, individuals are largely dispensable.

At this point, any knowledgeable person would stop reading this article because he/she knows the secrets behind deceptive marketing, and that Cathy’s miracles have existed since the death of Isa. But for the sake of the women who can’t drive for toffee, I’m willing to go like a virgin (hmm? Ed.).

Scamy Cathy claims that by mixing two ordinary teeth whitening products, Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile, she has created a miraculous toothpaste that guarantees your tits white in as low as 5 days. The sort of women she’s targeting are surprisingly not the ones with their mouths usually filled with the white stuff. Regardless of her target audience, there is one problem that you can’t escape from. Cathy’s suggested mix of chemicals are not available at your local departmental store. Let me repeat again, in bold, what I just said above.

1. Dentawhite / Dazzlesmile (the magic formula) IS NOT available at your local superstore.

Point to ponder: Cathy is suggesting that you buy a product that is physically non-existent.

Cathy continues to tell her folklore by offering you a virtual “discount” coupon for the two notable products. Oh wait… discount wa? Are you suggesting, Cathy, that I purchase the product online? Damn right!

2. Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile can ONLY be ordered ONLINE via CREDIT CARD.

It also appears that the two products are manufactured by the same parent company. But that’s fine because corporate moguls work like that. When was the last time you blamed Coca Cola for beverage-ing over 400 brands?

3. Dentawhite and Dazzlesmile share the same parent owner (strong likelihood)

Now, if you’ve ever participated in “opt-out at any time/cancel your membership, no questions asked” programs, you should know that it’s ridiculously easy to get scammed. What starts out as a $5 sample turns into a monthly credit cruncher that is not easy to fight with. Are people really that stupid to believe that a company will give away a brilliant product for just $5? Apparently so… The Internet is riddled with people, I bet mostly women, sharing their say of the scam. But I won’t blame the victims for not doing their research beforehand. I mean, CNN featured Cathy’s discovery so it must be true, right?

I feel sorry for the scammed, and unfortunately for them, the money lost is never coming back.

Do you ever read the fine prints of your contract? It is estimated that 95% of the people don’t, which explains why they’re so vulnerable to scam artists.

Cathy’s Personal Scam: Screw the bitch!

Click here to visit Cathy’s website- a long-story-made-short of her discovery. Besides the very obvious that Cathy couldn’t have made her website herself as it is beyond the ability of a mother of two to code a clean and appealing website, take a notice of what happens when you click on the links to Dazzlesmile/Dentawhite from her website.

The links from Cathy’s website are directed to an ad-click agency. The agency logs your computer information and redirects you to the intended destination. So for every click to the scam artists from her website, Cathy gets paid. This mother is not only getting paid to sleep in bed with different people, she is making money by telling us about it.

You can also ignore all the user comments that you see on her website. Most of them are made-up and obviously fake. I tried to push a comment myself but it was instantly rejected.

Read the Fine Prints:

Cathy’s website, which is actually run by a professional scam artist (a guy), has this to say in the fine prints,

“THE STORY DEPICTED ON THIS SITE AND THE PERSON DEPICTED IN THE STORY ARE NOT REAL . RATHER, THIS STORY IS BASED ON THE RESULTS THAT SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE USED THESE PRODUCTS HAVE ACHIEVED. THE RESULTS PORTRAYED IN THE STORY AND IN THE COMMENTS ARE ILLUSTRATIVE, AND MAY NOT BE THE RESULTS THAT YOU ACHIEVE WITH THESE PRODUCTS. THIS PAGE RECEIVES COMPENSATION FOR CLICKS ON OR PURCHASE OF PRODUCTS FEATURED ON THIS SITE.”

That’s funny. If the story is not real, how the heck did it end up on the nation’s most popular news networks and websites?

And Finally, The Usual Predictable Outcome:

Just about enough people will fall a victim to Cathy’s (it’s not really her) treacherous marketing campaign. The scammers will have made enough money in time to buy them a mansion in the Caribbean, and spill the leftovers for lawyers to scavenge.

Cathy’s campaign is bound to be successful because it wasn’t presented in the usual way. It’s a story of a young mom who didn’t become an instant Internet sex sensation because her tits aren’t as big as her head. It’s a story of a mom who knows how to make the best of recession. It’s a story of a mom who doesn’t lie, because moms know best, right? Too bad Cathy, you barely fit the bill of a good mother. How could you possibly not be a lying bitch if your only source of income is a nationwide campaign full of shit?

To Those Disappointed:

There is nothing wrong with your teeth. How can some teeth come in the way of your personality? I have bad teeth myself. I’ve never had to hide a smile even if I didn’t brush my teeth that morning. If anyone marks you off because of your pale teeth, feel free to kick the person in the nuts twice, and once more on my behalf.

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Discussion

19 comments for “A Mom’s Teeth Whitening Trick for $5!”

Kate
September 16, 2009, 17:33
1
“But for the sake of the women who can’t drive for toffee, I’m willing to go like a virgin (hmm? Ed.).”
I see what you did there ;) Thanks for the info.
Reply
Best Teeth Whiteners
October 17, 2009, 14:45
2
The best teeth whitening methods has to be the dental office procedures, which is patently obvious given the costs, for those of us to lack the funds, I’d recommend whitening stripes or natural home remedies which are fairly effective.
Reply
Gennady
November 19, 2009, 15:06
3
Don’t buy this! I am from Canada. Placed an order for Premium White (trial) using promo code that brings sub-total to $1.95. After giving them credit card number they charged me $11.90. I cancel the order, but now they will charge me full price of the product $87.62 if I don’t return it in certain time, plus you have to return it insured. Do not fall for it!!!
Reply
Saad Riaz
November 19, 2009, 18:47
4

@ Gennady:
Which is why I wrote this article to expose the dirty truth. Unfortunately, this massive campaign is run by gurus of marketing who are actually very good at making people pay. The sad part is, the money you got scammed for is not coming back.
Reply
Teeth Whitening
December 3, 2009, 02:27
5
I think home teeth whitening treatments is more effective than dental ones, if you know how to do them of course.
Reply
Amanda
January 16, 2010, 14:37
6
You really seem like a douche. Thanks for the scam info, but next time, lay off the bravado and gravitas.
Reply
Eric
January 21, 2010, 16:51
7
Thanks for this wonderful article. It is as enjoyable as it is informative and very well written (in my opinion).
Reply
roger
January 24, 2010, 00:53
8
ITS A SCAM BE CAREFULL FUCK THIS SHIT
Reply
LUKAS
January 24, 2010, 00:54
9
Don’t buy this! I am from Canada. Placed an order for Premium White (trial) using promo code that brings sub-total to $1.95. After giving them credit card number they charged me $11.90. I cancel the order, but now they will charge me full price of the product $87.62 if I don’t return it in certain time, plus you have to return it insured. Do not fall for it!!!
Reply
Chris
January 27, 2010, 08:48
10
All these bogus ads are a scam to rape your credit cards. One of the first ads was Dazzle White & ivory Brites & now its become a whore’n frenzy to push these bullshit products. BEWARE OF THESE JERKOFFS
Reply
John
February 9, 2010, 10:16
11
If it sounds too good to be true,……..

This is actually a nation wide IQ test. A lot of people failed.
Reply
albert gedge
February 18, 2010, 04:08
12
Hello,

If there was some confusion about your subscription, we honestly didn’t mean to inconvenience you in any way. Our goal is not to inconvenience our customers .The terms and conditions of our offer are very visible on the order page, they are stated on the order page where you confirm your order, located directly to the top of where your credit card information was entered. There is also a link at the top of the home page that opens up the terms and conditions in a separate window. Customer service is our number one priority and we do everything we can to be open with all of our customers. Of course, mistakes can be made; and if you were not aware of our terms and conditions in our site, we are happy to offer you a full refund if you return the unused product back to us. We have always honored our 30-day guarantee and will continue to do so.You can talk to customer support seven days a week. Our U.S.-based help lines are also staffed each and every day of the week to respond to any questions you may have both before and after your order. Simply call us at 888-948-5508 or visit our 24/7 live help at http://www.dazzlesmilepro.com/contactus.php and we will be happy to walk you through the entire cancellation process.

Your satisfaction is our number one concern,

Thanks,
Reply
Typical scammers
February 18, 2010, 21:39
13
@albert gedge: It’s little too late for some clarification you know. You can take your product back to Nigeria. I hate you scammers for life!
Reply
lahdeedah
May 27, 2010, 22:25
14
What’s with the misogyny in this article? You really can’t write something without hating half of the population for no apparent reason? Yikes.
Reply
Mike S
June 26, 2010, 17:26
15
Where is our government (BBB)? This is bull shit if i scamed people like this, i’d be on cnn. If anyone knows of a site for us suckers please post it.
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Saad Riaz
June 27, 2010, 17:32
16

@Mike S: The BBB is a joke, if it weren’t, Steve Jobs would have died by now. The Bureau has its head stuck way inside the corporate ass, just like the UN. The fact is that consumers are blessed with the ability to understand which they partially utilize. We literary “agree” to the terms to get ripped. It’s sad, isn’t it?
Reply
Gary Deins
July 14, 2010, 06:11
17
Nice article and well to the point. Of course it had to have the anti-Semitic, anti Christian and anti-bush statements. Your “diggmeister” supporters might also have missed the sexist comments (in the fine print) but it was not lost on me. Do those on the left never get embarrassed by their hypocrisy?
Reply
Truth Hurts
July 19, 2010, 01:49
18
Brilliant. Simply brilliant.
Reply
Dotson33Lena
August 27, 2010, 19:12
19
I strictly recommend not to hold back until you earn big sum of cash to buy all you need! You can just take the personal loans or collateral loan and feel yourself free
Reply